What have I become, My sweetest friend? Everyone I know goes away In the end.

Evening.

I'm in the process of uploading a video blog I filmed yesterday about how I name inanimate objects that I own. Joy.

I've been listening to Amanda Palmer a lot, lately. And also The Dresden Dolls, which is a band she's also in. They are classified as "Brechtian Punk Cabaret". Good stuff.

So, we are supposed to be having freezing rain. Therefore I am hoping buses are canceled for tomorrow so I can sleep. And work on the never ending amount of homework that I have. I thought that leaving the I.B. Programme would result in less homework but I think it's just less tedious homework, now. I can cope with that. I think we might have course selection for next year, though, tomorrow. And that frightens and aggravates me immensely for a couple of reasons.

1) Next year could be my last year of high school. And even if I stay an extra year for a victory lap, next year could be the last year for my friends. And I don't want to even try and process, let alone accept, that fact. It feels like I've just finally found a spot to belong amongst the throngs of people in my small town and it's too soon to say 'good-bye'. Of course, everyone claims to stay in touch, and with Facebook that's more possible (obviously *please note my sarcasm*), but that's not the case. Life is made up of change. And no matter how much I know this, it still unnerves me.

2) I don't know what I'm doing with my life. No one ever truly does at the age of 16, I suppose. Yet, I need to make sure I have enough Grade 12 courses to graduate, next year. So that's a bit stressful when it comes to picking what I think will interest me. I'm picky. And get bored easily. So I'm disgruntled about having to make choices for what I view as being too soon.

My apologies if my use of/ lack of commas causes awkward sentence structure.

3) I'm going to have to take SAT's, regardless of the fact that I am Canadian because I am looking at Academy of Arts University in San Francisco for post-secondary schooling. It's the only school I've decided to like. It's just this feeling that that is where I need to go. BUT to write SAT's I need more math skills because I got a 50 in my Grade 11 math, last year. It was I.B. Math, but still... it was an EPIC FAIL for me. I'm usually in the 80's for marks. SO. That means I should probably re-take Grade 11 Math and take a Grade 12 Math next year...joy...

AND

4) I've just started Semester 2 with new classes. How will I know what I like and what I dislike for next year? The entire process of course selection is simply "grr..." worthy. It really is.


Regardless, my video is uploaded now, and I have Sociology to read, still.

Goodnight for now.

-Lana.