Oh simple thing where have you gone? I'm getting old and I need something to rely on. So tell me when you're gonna let me in

Good Evening.

I just got back from a date with my best friend, Ophelia. Her boyfriend, Zacky, is out of town for the weekend, and my gentleman companion wasn't feeling the best today, so, both of us, not really content to be sitting at home alone on a Friday night, decided to go to my house. There, we brooded, talked, shared stories and opinions and most importantly laughed, all the while scarfing down pretzels and bite size Tostitos chips.

We then consumed some pasta that my mom made for dinner and headed to the theatres where I was delighted to see that "He's Just Not That Into You" was playing. I pick only 1 chick flick a year to see in theatres and this was the I had picked. Yay!

Ophelia and I were at first amused, shocked and then slightly depressed to find characters that mimed our lives on the Hollywood big screen. SPOILERS BELOW. NOT THAT YOU ARE PROBABLY PLANNING ON WATCHING THIS MOVIE.

You've now been warned. SO! Ophelia's character was the nervous eater, obsessive compulsive one who couldn't find the guy who was 'into' her, and then it turned out that she had a happy ending with Justin Long's character who had been helping her out all along. Sweet. Endearing. Predictable. Tear jerking.

I, on the other hand, was the woman who was married and their husband cheats on them. He only married her because she sort of gave him an ultimatum. She tends to be a tad suspicious of his actions, but keeps it to herself, but then it builds up and causes her to have mini rants to random people with conversations that start off as one thing but end up talking about empty promises and lying and such. And then the husband tells the wife, in Home Depot, that he's had an affair, and because it's a public place she cannot freak at him. She then tries to solve the marriage by going to visit him at work, wear he has hidden his girlfriend in his closet. After she gets home, though, she finds out he has indeed been smoking again, even when he swore he had quit. Therefore, she throws all of his things down the stairs and smashes an ugly mirror. Which she then grabs a broom and dustpan to clean up. When he gets home there's a note for him on the stairs, where all of his things have been nicely arranged, that reads she wants a divorce. He then moves out and she's left seen starting her life over by hanging up a much nicer looking mirror.

Aka: My life predicted for me.

Hopefully, that will not be the case, but as Ophelia and I sat and watched this film, everything seemed too relatable.

Anyways, that's my little speil/vent/rant for tonight. I'm going to go read and listen to music... and try really hard not to question things in life too much. Instead, I think I shall just reminisce on my quite enjoyable date. Heh.

Goodnight,

Lana

Feels like you made a mistake, You made somebody's heart break, But now I have to let you go, I have to let you go...

Evening to you all.

I had some tea and I think I feel worse. My sinuses are becoming stuffed up and a cough is developing... oh well... it's that time of the year, I suppose. As long as I do not get a sinus infection, I'll be fine.

I filmed a video blog about how many books I have truly started and never finished. Also, those that I have and have never opened. I'm in the process of loading it into iMovie. I'll have it onto YouTube later tonight if I don't go to bed before then.

I'm currently working on a 'graphic organizer' aka chart, for Sociology, it is due Wednesday, though, so I'm good. And tomorrow night I am going to see Slumdog Millionaire avec Carter (author of "Life of a Teenage Loser"). So that should be fun. Thursday I apparently have a bio test, and that should go okay. It's unfortunately more bio chemistry for this unit, but I'll manage.

I was snacking on Sweedish Berries and Pretzels. I swear I could eat my body weight in both of those unhealthy-ish foods. As well, my eyes are really itchy and I don't know why, so that is irriating.

Wendy's has this fish fillet type thing going on at the moment. I find it quite off putting, not only because I am not a huge fan of fish/seafood to begin with, but because it is a fast food industry. I try my hardest not to consume fast foods, and if I rarely ever do so it is roughly once every six months or so.

I have my space heater cranked up as high as it can go beside me and yet I still feel a tad cold, but I'm too lazy/tired to go find a blanket. So, I think I shall surf Facebook a bit and maybe add photos to my photo blog.

If I can stay awake that long...

If I lay here, If I just lay here, Would you lie with me and just forget the world?

A summary of the past little while:

Wednesday I had a lovely conversation with "Zac" (my best friend's boyfriend) after school before I walked to my guitar lesson. It was somewhat insightful, and if anything, quite amusing. My guitar lesson was good. I'm working on chords for "Knockin' on Heaven's Door" by Bob Dylan and "Fields of Gold" by Neil Young.

Thursday night I worked 4-7. That was bland and uneventful. I hate sweeping and mopping. I then went and worked on my dance routines upstairs at my mom's studio for a bit. They're coming along alright...I usually don't 'perfect' (because nothing is ever truly perfect) them until a week or two before the show. We have 3 weeks. Dance Mode will kick in soon.

Friday was Semi-Formal at my high school. It went well, and I had a lot of fun, despite some atrocious music that they played. Yet, that always happens, I shouldn't be surprised anymore by rap/hip-hop crap. Although, I still have hopes for DJ's to play at least ONE 80's song. Not one that is being sampled by Pop artists, these days.

Saturday I helped an elderly woman with her computer, so I had to get up at 9:00 am. I then walked around the small downtown area before heading to the beach and finding my regular spot on the rocks to sit and watch the lake. It soon became cold, though, so I decided to head to work an hour early. I then worked 2-7 and it felt like the longest 5 hours of my life. I then went home and did basically nothing, except clean my room a bit, before going to bed.

Sunday, work was open for the WinterFest going on downtown. So I was asked to work 11-2. Which meant no sleeping in this past weekend for me. Work went well, though, and I gained valuable experience, I believe. Nothing like the adrenaline rush of running around making coffees, ringing in the cash register, cleaning dishes, selling chocolates, wiping down tables, making small talk with customers, and then doing it all over again. My gentleman companion then came over and he schooled me at Mario Karts for the Nintendo Wii. I was not a fan of that, whatsoever. Then we watched Con Air and The Rock. Two Nicholas Cage movies in a row and our minds did not melt. I think that might be an accomplishment. Maybe...

Today is Monday. And it certainly feels like one. In second period today I developed a cold. And I am not a huge fan of being sick. This reminds me that I left my tea brewing upstairs and it has been brewing for a while now... damn... oh well... Also! I am without a dance class tonight because my mom had to take the dog to the vet. So, I'm hoping he feels better. My one friend was a bit bitchy at me today, too, but I talked to him and things seem to be at their usual, predictable stand still of no resolution to whatever conflicts there may be. I have come to the conclusion that I am no longer going to worry about this and I will simply allow him to deal with his issues/situations and if he would like to talk to me, I am all ears and willing to be friendly and supportive, if he needs that.

Anyways, I am going to go drink my tea. And possibly film a video blog. I'll probably blog again later tonight if I am not side tracked by praticing my guitar.

'til Next Time,

Lana

Questions of science, Science and progress, Do not speak as loud as my heart.

Almost a week without a blog. How traumatizing.

To be honest, this past week has been a blur of school, homework, work and sleeping whenever I can fit it in. I worked Thursday, Friday and Saturday, which happened to be Valentine's Day.

Valentine's Day pretty much met my expectations. I had one goal: for it to be better than last year's. Last year was spent watching Jumper in the theaters with three of my nerdy guy friends (one of whom is now my gentleman companion, weird how these things work out...). Anyways, about halfway through the movie I realized it was Valentine's Day. It had never bothered me before. I had viewed that day as simply just another regular day. Yet, for some reason, still unbeknownst to me, it did irk me. So my one friend, who's blog I follow (Teenage Loser) was one of these nerdy friends and he seemed to find my "goal" amusing, if not possibly pathetic. *If I have mistaken your feelings please correct me*.

So, I was quite pleased to have roses sent to me at work, since I was working an 8 hour shift of 10-6. Never again...I hope... That act made my day. It wasn't a dramatic moment where he walked in with them himself, (the women at my workplace would have teased/embarassed him, anyways) but he still sent them, which is possibly even sweeter. Thus forth, it was a better than last year.

I have also concluded a couple things that I never want involved in my job/career. I never want a 9-5 Mon-Fri type job. I don't really want a strict dress code or to wear high heeled shoes of any form. I can't walk in them. Nor run. Not that I run very often, but if I had to run, I would need to take them off and in the time needed to take them off that is when I'd be killed by whomever was causing the chaos that I needed to run from in the first place. Hence why I like Converses or no shoes, in general. I like a job that allowed me to sleep, to some degree. So at the moment I think I shall start my own company. I was talking with my best friend on the phone earlier and was debating about creating my own paint industry. The two debut colours shall be "Banana-Mango" and "Strawberry Peuce." Obviously.

Well, I have a Genograph to finish for Sociology. I'm using Photoshop to make it look pretty and colour co-ordinated. Yay.

'Til next time.

-Me.

That long black cloud is comin' down. I feel like I'm knockin' on heaven's door.

'ello, 'ello.

SO...I finally got my G1 today! That's exciting.

AND...I started guitar lessons and I LOVE it. My fingers feel a little bruised at the moment, but I don't really mind. It's a lot of fun just strumming away learning the different chords. That's about as much as I know at the moment. :)

Not too much has gone on lately. I saw Gran Torino last night. It was a good movie, regardless of all of Clint Eastwood's racial slurs. That's just his character, though.

I'd love to just type and type away about whatever is on my mind, but I find my mind to be oddly blank at this exact moment. It is 8:09pm and I am uncharacteristically tired. Hmm...

I just hope I didn't catch any strange diseases from the driving centre where I wrote my test. It was that creepy, eerie, government building type sterile look: the uncomfortable, metal with holes in them chairs, the white walls, the fluorescent lights, and the unhappy people behind the counters who appear to hate their jobs. Unfortunately, the "sterile" part always seems overlooked and usually smells of cigarettes.

There was this white gangsta, "wangsta", in the written test area when I went in. And he had just failed his test and was muttering and complaining, and I couldn't help but laugh at him. And then he gave me a really dirty look. And I simply smiled politely at him. He was amusing.

The chairs were unformtable, with the small, flat area attached to the arm of the chair to write on. It reminded me of the scene in Men In Black when they people are all given the tests to write and no desk or flat surface. So, Will Smith's character gets up and grabs the table from the middle of the room. Except, sadly for me, there was no table for me drag across a room. Not today, at least...

So...I am going to do some print work for my mom, who needs poster's and ticket's designs tweeked a little. And then maybe play some more guitar.

'Til next time.

-Lana

What have I become, My sweetest friend? Everyone I know goes away In the end.

Evening.

I'm in the process of uploading a video blog I filmed yesterday about how I name inanimate objects that I own. Joy.

I've been listening to Amanda Palmer a lot, lately. And also The Dresden Dolls, which is a band she's also in. They are classified as "Brechtian Punk Cabaret". Good stuff.

So, we are supposed to be having freezing rain. Therefore I am hoping buses are canceled for tomorrow so I can sleep. And work on the never ending amount of homework that I have. I thought that leaving the I.B. Programme would result in less homework but I think it's just less tedious homework, now. I can cope with that. I think we might have course selection for next year, though, tomorrow. And that frightens and aggravates me immensely for a couple of reasons.

1) Next year could be my last year of high school. And even if I stay an extra year for a victory lap, next year could be the last year for my friends. And I don't want to even try and process, let alone accept, that fact. It feels like I've just finally found a spot to belong amongst the throngs of people in my small town and it's too soon to say 'good-bye'. Of course, everyone claims to stay in touch, and with Facebook that's more possible (obviously *please note my sarcasm*), but that's not the case. Life is made up of change. And no matter how much I know this, it still unnerves me.

2) I don't know what I'm doing with my life. No one ever truly does at the age of 16, I suppose. Yet, I need to make sure I have enough Grade 12 courses to graduate, next year. So that's a bit stressful when it comes to picking what I think will interest me. I'm picky. And get bored easily. So I'm disgruntled about having to make choices for what I view as being too soon.

My apologies if my use of/ lack of commas causes awkward sentence structure.

3) I'm going to have to take SAT's, regardless of the fact that I am Canadian because I am looking at Academy of Arts University in San Francisco for post-secondary schooling. It's the only school I've decided to like. It's just this feeling that that is where I need to go. BUT to write SAT's I need more math skills because I got a 50 in my Grade 11 math, last year. It was I.B. Math, but still... it was an EPIC FAIL for me. I'm usually in the 80's for marks. SO. That means I should probably re-take Grade 11 Math and take a Grade 12 Math next year...joy...

AND

4) I've just started Semester 2 with new classes. How will I know what I like and what I dislike for next year? The entire process of course selection is simply "grr..." worthy. It really is.


Regardless, my video is uploaded now, and I have Sociology to read, still.

Goodnight for now.

-Lana.

So go ahead and talk about your bad day... I want all the details of the pain and misery that you are inflicting on the others...

Good Afternoon/Evening, I suppose.

I just got home from a dance session. It's always such a wonderful thing. I finished off both of my choreographies, co-writing with my Mom. And I just finished drinking a latte that I bought at work. It's been a good after-school time of the day.

So, my morning went as follows: I had set my alarm at 5:30, to get up at 6:30, so I could take a shower. At 5:30 I turned off the radio (which in inconveniently right next to my bed) and re-set it for 7:00. At 7:00 I re-set the alarm for 7:15. At which point I forced myself to roll out from under my warm blankets and off of my four poster bed. I scavenged for a hoodie to wear, because it's slightly chilly in the house, amongst my pile of clothes on the floor.

I opened my bedroom door as much as I could (there are things placed precariously behind it) and walked down the hallway, through the living room, past the little gate thingy and into my kitchen (the gate is there to remind the dog he needs to stay in the kitchen at night). I then proceeded to make myself some toast. And then found out the hard way that there was little to none chocolate soy milk. I drank the small amount that was left, hoping to find juice in the fridge. But no such luck. And I don't like drinking water. So I was left drinkless with my toast. As I sat and ate it in the dark, sitting on my couch. Although, the sun had put interesting orange stripes in the sky this morning.

Regardless, I ate my toast in 5 minutes. Calculated that I had enough time to take a shower, even though it was 7:30, by now. At 8:00 I was all spiffy and clean and had straightened my hair. It was now time for finding clothing.

I settled with denim jeans, a dark brown t-shirt with cool colourful patterns on it that my best freinds gave me for Christmas one year, and a black zip-up sweater. So a bit different from what I predicted.

I made it to school on time, though. Which was good. I don't really have an issue woth being late, but fellow peers always look at you scrutinizingly when you walk in. I'm used to it, but I don't think it's a necessary thing to have in my mornings. Because I hate mornings.

Anyways! When I was walking to the dance studio today after school with my friend "Teenage Loser" (Go check out his blog!) we passed this older women on the sidewalk, who stopped mid stride and waited for us to pass her before continuing walking. It was a tad bizarre. She had a beige shawl and a purple/mauve/pink-ish coat. Not sure how that's relevant, though. She also had this rerally distant stare, as if looking off to something in the distance at something none of us were priveledged to see. She was...interersting...

I have homework to do, and a video blog to post. So ya... Hurray for reading 9 pages of a Sociology text book, writing a science lab and memorizing a script for drama. I'm already saying "Hello!" to Procrastination. Concerning I prefer to do homework after dinner. And it's 6:01 as I type. And dinner won't be for another half hour probably. But, oh well. I shall get it all finished...eventually.

'Til Next Time.

-Lana

P.S. I've just been informed that dinner IS ready. And it's pasta. Yay! Although, I'm not very content that my prediction skills are off...hmm...

Rebel rebel, youve torn your dress. Rebel rebel, your face is a mess

Good Evening.

I'm currently uploading a video to my YouTube Account. Yay! Click here. Or not, you don't have to or anything.

Today was uneventful. I finished a script for drama class and e-mailed that off to the group members. I filmed a 51 things in my room and a video blog today. So, good for me for doing something, there.

My thoughts before bed are primarily how my morning will be just like every other morning before school. Set my alarm for 6:00 am. Get up at 6 and set my alarm for 7:00. Get up at 7. OR possibly re-set the alarm for 7:15. I reset it for 7:30 the other morning...

I then walk out into the dark hallway, leaving my bedroom door slightly open, and go through the living room and into the kitchen. Then follows the second biggest decision of my morning. What to eat for breakfast. I had been eating Cinnabons with homemade chocolate ice cream, but, sadly, they are all consumed now. I'll probably have toast or a bagel.

I then sit in the dark, on the couch, in front of the coffee table and eat. Quietly. By myself. This eating ranges between 3-20 minutes. It depends on if I have any profound thoughts that let my mind wander.

I then get washed up and whatnot. And then the biggest decision of the day. What to wear. Skinny jeans probably. And then a t-shirt with a saying or picture of some form. And then a hoodie. And neon coloured socks. And my converses. Usually. That's just an in general statement.

And then my mom drives me to school.

So, as I go to bed I say an early "Hello," to my oh so predictable morning to come.

Goodnight to you all.

-Lana

Judging by the look on the organ-grinder, He'll judge me by the fact that my face don't fit.

Good Afternoon.

I woke up 12:30-ish today. Such a lovely time to wake up. I then proceeded to make myself some scrambled eggs (with cheese) and toast. I love cheese. And, before I knew it, I was sitting in front of my always welcoming computer screen with my space heater turned on because it is cold in my basement and I forgot to put socks on.

I went bowling last night. Which was a good time. And then we went and had some food and dessert at a local restaurant. I had a very interesting conversation. My boss and his wife are such wonderful, intellectual, intriguing people. I learn something new every time I talk with them.

One of our topics was on being successful. And this caused me to start thinking, once I was home, last night. That 'success' is all about how one perceives it. And, then to be 'successful' is a different genre of its own. Some people may feel that to be successful means you have a house, a family, money, and a nice car. Others may simply feel that success is accomplishing a task or goal that makes you happy. Regardless, that caused me to think that people must judge others an awful lot. Not necessarily in a negative way, but in general. Everyone is guilty at looking at someone's life and thinking, "What are they doing with their life? They are not going to be successful doing [insert whatever random job/career/etc here]." BUT that is by going with what each of us feels makes one successful. Our individual definitions get in the way of simply accepting people.

In my personal opinion, I feel that to be successful means that you are accomplishing something that makes you happy, yet still provides for whatever needs you have (such as food, water, shelter, clothing, etc.).

Although, like I said, everyone's definition is usually tailored to their own beliefs and interests. So, that said, who are we to say whether Mr. Yacht Money Bags is more successful than Mr. Rock Star or Mrs. Fantasy Wizard Writer is more successful than Mrs. Random Vampire Romance?

It all comes down to money.

Or so it seems. Which is unfortunate because success shouldn't be accessed by that.

On a different note entirely:

I am losing faith in the radio. I swear every station has Ryan Secreast on it. He must be taking over the world. It's really starting to frustrate me.

And, in my Sociology class the other day my teacher mentioned the polygamy going on in Bountiful, BC. There's an article here. But what really made me confused was when she mentioned there was a term for a woman with multiple husbands. Polyandry (thank-you wikipedia) is when a woman with more than one husband.

Now, why? Why would a woman want more than one? Unless, there was one to clean, one to shop, one to vaccuum (separate from cleaning), one who liked to shoe shop (a division in the sport of shopping), one who liked to do dishes, one who enjoyed fancy nights out, and one who'd rather spend nights in watching movies, and maybe one to do laundry. Although, I like to to do my own laundry because the detergents usually smell really nice. My mom just bought an apple mango scented one.

But, do you see my point? Wouldn't having multiple spouses just be problematic? And for the men with many wives, it bothers me that women would allow this to happen. I suppose when it is a part of one's beliefs, religion and culture it is difficult to see an alternative.

Just my thoughts so far for today.

Anyways, homework is beckoning me.

-Lana.

Love me one time, baby. Yeah, my knees got weak.

I have a video blog processing at the moment. Yay.

This past week has been a bit of a blur. It was spent adjusting to the new semester. But the classes go by quickly, so I'm not sitting in the uncomfortable desks completely bored out of my mind. That's a plus, I guess.

Yesterday there was a buy-out to the Jeremy Bennett memorial basket-ball game. He passed away this month last year and it has really effected most people at my high school. He lived on the native reserve and their entire community is still feeling the absence of his presence. Their drumming circle played before the game yesterday and in their songs you can really feel the emotion. It's hard to be in the bleachers and looking in because everyone's pain is so clear. I'm not a huge fan of emotional distress. I'm not sure anyone truly is.

On a different note:

I had my hair re-dyed today. It's still black but the purple has become red. I'm digging it.

I've been writing a fair bit more, lately. Just bits and pieces here and there. But it's nice to have that creative outlet working, again. Dance is coming along alright. I have a showcase on March 14th, and that will be fun. It always is. Homework is still being done, for the time being. My procrastinating ways will surely catch up with before the end of this month.

Valentine's Day is next week. I've never really been a huge fan of it. I'm still not. Something about all of the pink and flowers and hearts. It's off putting. And then Hallmark obviously has something invested in this 'holiday event', I suppose. I work in a chocolate shop. So I'm waiting to see how many people come in on Valentine's Day looking for a last minute gift. How sad...

I was talking with my best friend yesterday. As I always do. Our lockers are conveniently located right next to each. But I digress. Anyways, I asked her if her and her boyfriend of over 2 years (I know, 2 years seems like forever when you're in high school) were doing anything for Valentine's Day. And she just sort of shrugged and said not really. Both her and ZE (he looks like Zac Efron) are apparently not big fans of the day, so I was told, and her mom's anniversary is the 14th. ZE made her a ring, though, in his manufacturing shop, so she still has to get him something.

Her indifference, despite the fact that we have known each other for 11 years, still somewhat shocked me. I guess I just have hopeless romantic tendencies. I work 10-6 on Valentine's Day. And I told her that it would be really sweet if my gentlemen companion were to come in and bring me a bouquet of roses or something dramatic like that. She then laughed and assured me that it was not going to happen.

I don't believe that a relationship strives off of gift giving or of material things. That would be ridiculous. Dramatic expressions of 'love' or 'affection' are not needed for me. As long as I know how they feel, and they can openly show it in casual ways, then I have no need nor want for extravagence. But a girl can still think about those dramatic moments in chick flicks, right? Right...?

I'm going bowling later today with some co-workers. So that will be fun. It's always nice to go out and hang with different people. And I believe it's "Rock 'n Bowl", so that means music (most likely somewhat mediocre-good) and black lights and glowing things. I'm easily entertained, so it's good fun for me. :)

I published the Burnings of Dora and of My Little Pony on YouTube:

http://www.youtube.com/user/UniquelyLANA

So please feel free to check that out.

Until Next Time,

Lana.

I'm Lazy...

'ello.

If you are reading this, it is plausible that you know me in person. However, if that is not the case, an enthusiastic hello and spastic hand wave to you. :)

I am planning on starting a video blog aka vlogging, sometime today. Hopefully. But I am a procrastinator and I am somewhat lazy...

Concerning, I just imported video from my last Samhain Social (Hallowe'en Party) of my friends and I burning a My Little Pony pinata. The year before we burned Dora the Explorer. Good stuff.

But ya... vlogging is probably more beneficial for everyone because I talk with hand gestures and sound effects and facial expressions. Although, I suppose everyone talks with facial expressions. Unless they have something that stops that from happening. That would be weird...

I will post a link to my YouTube Channel when I have stuff uploaded.