What have I become, My sweetest friend? Everyone I know goes away In the end.

Evening.

I'm in the process of uploading a video blog I filmed yesterday about how I name inanimate objects that I own. Joy.

I've been listening to Amanda Palmer a lot, lately. And also The Dresden Dolls, which is a band she's also in. They are classified as "Brechtian Punk Cabaret". Good stuff.

So, we are supposed to be having freezing rain. Therefore I am hoping buses are canceled for tomorrow so I can sleep. And work on the never ending amount of homework that I have. I thought that leaving the I.B. Programme would result in less homework but I think it's just less tedious homework, now. I can cope with that. I think we might have course selection for next year, though, tomorrow. And that frightens and aggravates me immensely for a couple of reasons.

1) Next year could be my last year of high school. And even if I stay an extra year for a victory lap, next year could be the last year for my friends. And I don't want to even try and process, let alone accept, that fact. It feels like I've just finally found a spot to belong amongst the throngs of people in my small town and it's too soon to say 'good-bye'. Of course, everyone claims to stay in touch, and with Facebook that's more possible (obviously *please note my sarcasm*), but that's not the case. Life is made up of change. And no matter how much I know this, it still unnerves me.

2) I don't know what I'm doing with my life. No one ever truly does at the age of 16, I suppose. Yet, I need to make sure I have enough Grade 12 courses to graduate, next year. So that's a bit stressful when it comes to picking what I think will interest me. I'm picky. And get bored easily. So I'm disgruntled about having to make choices for what I view as being too soon.

My apologies if my use of/ lack of commas causes awkward sentence structure.

3) I'm going to have to take SAT's, regardless of the fact that I am Canadian because I am looking at Academy of Arts University in San Francisco for post-secondary schooling. It's the only school I've decided to like. It's just this feeling that that is where I need to go. BUT to write SAT's I need more math skills because I got a 50 in my Grade 11 math, last year. It was I.B. Math, but still... it was an EPIC FAIL for me. I'm usually in the 80's for marks. SO. That means I should probably re-take Grade 11 Math and take a Grade 12 Math next year...joy...

AND

4) I've just started Semester 2 with new classes. How will I know what I like and what I dislike for next year? The entire process of course selection is simply "grr..." worthy. It really is.


Regardless, my video is uploaded now, and I have Sociology to read, still.

Goodnight for now.

-Lana.

So go ahead and talk about your bad day... I want all the details of the pain and misery that you are inflicting on the others...

Good Afternoon/Evening, I suppose.

I just got home from a dance session. It's always such a wonderful thing. I finished off both of my choreographies, co-writing with my Mom. And I just finished drinking a latte that I bought at work. It's been a good after-school time of the day.

So, my morning went as follows: I had set my alarm at 5:30, to get up at 6:30, so I could take a shower. At 5:30 I turned off the radio (which in inconveniently right next to my bed) and re-set it for 7:00. At 7:00 I re-set the alarm for 7:15. At which point I forced myself to roll out from under my warm blankets and off of my four poster bed. I scavenged for a hoodie to wear, because it's slightly chilly in the house, amongst my pile of clothes on the floor.

I opened my bedroom door as much as I could (there are things placed precariously behind it) and walked down the hallway, through the living room, past the little gate thingy and into my kitchen (the gate is there to remind the dog he needs to stay in the kitchen at night). I then proceeded to make myself some toast. And then found out the hard way that there was little to none chocolate soy milk. I drank the small amount that was left, hoping to find juice in the fridge. But no such luck. And I don't like drinking water. So I was left drinkless with my toast. As I sat and ate it in the dark, sitting on my couch. Although, the sun had put interesting orange stripes in the sky this morning.

Regardless, I ate my toast in 5 minutes. Calculated that I had enough time to take a shower, even though it was 7:30, by now. At 8:00 I was all spiffy and clean and had straightened my hair. It was now time for finding clothing.

I settled with denim jeans, a dark brown t-shirt with cool colourful patterns on it that my best freinds gave me for Christmas one year, and a black zip-up sweater. So a bit different from what I predicted.

I made it to school on time, though. Which was good. I don't really have an issue woth being late, but fellow peers always look at you scrutinizingly when you walk in. I'm used to it, but I don't think it's a necessary thing to have in my mornings. Because I hate mornings.

Anyways! When I was walking to the dance studio today after school with my friend "Teenage Loser" (Go check out his blog!) we passed this older women on the sidewalk, who stopped mid stride and waited for us to pass her before continuing walking. It was a tad bizarre. She had a beige shawl and a purple/mauve/pink-ish coat. Not sure how that's relevant, though. She also had this rerally distant stare, as if looking off to something in the distance at something none of us were priveledged to see. She was...interersting...

I have homework to do, and a video blog to post. So ya... Hurray for reading 9 pages of a Sociology text book, writing a science lab and memorizing a script for drama. I'm already saying "Hello!" to Procrastination. Concerning I prefer to do homework after dinner. And it's 6:01 as I type. And dinner won't be for another half hour probably. But, oh well. I shall get it all finished...eventually.

'Til Next Time.

-Lana

P.S. I've just been informed that dinner IS ready. And it's pasta. Yay! Although, I'm not very content that my prediction skills are off...hmm...

Rebel rebel, youve torn your dress. Rebel rebel, your face is a mess

Good Evening.

I'm currently uploading a video to my YouTube Account. Yay! Click here. Or not, you don't have to or anything.

Today was uneventful. I finished a script for drama class and e-mailed that off to the group members. I filmed a 51 things in my room and a video blog today. So, good for me for doing something, there.

My thoughts before bed are primarily how my morning will be just like every other morning before school. Set my alarm for 6:00 am. Get up at 6 and set my alarm for 7:00. Get up at 7. OR possibly re-set the alarm for 7:15. I reset it for 7:30 the other morning...

I then walk out into the dark hallway, leaving my bedroom door slightly open, and go through the living room and into the kitchen. Then follows the second biggest decision of my morning. What to eat for breakfast. I had been eating Cinnabons with homemade chocolate ice cream, but, sadly, they are all consumed now. I'll probably have toast or a bagel.

I then sit in the dark, on the couch, in front of the coffee table and eat. Quietly. By myself. This eating ranges between 3-20 minutes. It depends on if I have any profound thoughts that let my mind wander.

I then get washed up and whatnot. And then the biggest decision of the day. What to wear. Skinny jeans probably. And then a t-shirt with a saying or picture of some form. And then a hoodie. And neon coloured socks. And my converses. Usually. That's just an in general statement.

And then my mom drives me to school.

So, as I go to bed I say an early "Hello," to my oh so predictable morning to come.

Goodnight to you all.

-Lana

Judging by the look on the organ-grinder, He'll judge me by the fact that my face don't fit.

Good Afternoon.

I woke up 12:30-ish today. Such a lovely time to wake up. I then proceeded to make myself some scrambled eggs (with cheese) and toast. I love cheese. And, before I knew it, I was sitting in front of my always welcoming computer screen with my space heater turned on because it is cold in my basement and I forgot to put socks on.

I went bowling last night. Which was a good time. And then we went and had some food and dessert at a local restaurant. I had a very interesting conversation. My boss and his wife are such wonderful, intellectual, intriguing people. I learn something new every time I talk with them.

One of our topics was on being successful. And this caused me to start thinking, once I was home, last night. That 'success' is all about how one perceives it. And, then to be 'successful' is a different genre of its own. Some people may feel that to be successful means you have a house, a family, money, and a nice car. Others may simply feel that success is accomplishing a task or goal that makes you happy. Regardless, that caused me to think that people must judge others an awful lot. Not necessarily in a negative way, but in general. Everyone is guilty at looking at someone's life and thinking, "What are they doing with their life? They are not going to be successful doing [insert whatever random job/career/etc here]." BUT that is by going with what each of us feels makes one successful. Our individual definitions get in the way of simply accepting people.

In my personal opinion, I feel that to be successful means that you are accomplishing something that makes you happy, yet still provides for whatever needs you have (such as food, water, shelter, clothing, etc.).

Although, like I said, everyone's definition is usually tailored to their own beliefs and interests. So, that said, who are we to say whether Mr. Yacht Money Bags is more successful than Mr. Rock Star or Mrs. Fantasy Wizard Writer is more successful than Mrs. Random Vampire Romance?

It all comes down to money.

Or so it seems. Which is unfortunate because success shouldn't be accessed by that.

On a different note entirely:

I am losing faith in the radio. I swear every station has Ryan Secreast on it. He must be taking over the world. It's really starting to frustrate me.

And, in my Sociology class the other day my teacher mentioned the polygamy going on in Bountiful, BC. There's an article here. But what really made me confused was when she mentioned there was a term for a woman with multiple husbands. Polyandry (thank-you wikipedia) is when a woman with more than one husband.

Now, why? Why would a woman want more than one? Unless, there was one to clean, one to shop, one to vaccuum (separate from cleaning), one who liked to shoe shop (a division in the sport of shopping), one who liked to do dishes, one who enjoyed fancy nights out, and one who'd rather spend nights in watching movies, and maybe one to do laundry. Although, I like to to do my own laundry because the detergents usually smell really nice. My mom just bought an apple mango scented one.

But, do you see my point? Wouldn't having multiple spouses just be problematic? And for the men with many wives, it bothers me that women would allow this to happen. I suppose when it is a part of one's beliefs, religion and culture it is difficult to see an alternative.

Just my thoughts so far for today.

Anyways, homework is beckoning me.

-Lana.

Love me one time, baby. Yeah, my knees got weak.

I have a video blog processing at the moment. Yay.

This past week has been a bit of a blur. It was spent adjusting to the new semester. But the classes go by quickly, so I'm not sitting in the uncomfortable desks completely bored out of my mind. That's a plus, I guess.

Yesterday there was a buy-out to the Jeremy Bennett memorial basket-ball game. He passed away this month last year and it has really effected most people at my high school. He lived on the native reserve and their entire community is still feeling the absence of his presence. Their drumming circle played before the game yesterday and in their songs you can really feel the emotion. It's hard to be in the bleachers and looking in because everyone's pain is so clear. I'm not a huge fan of emotional distress. I'm not sure anyone truly is.

On a different note:

I had my hair re-dyed today. It's still black but the purple has become red. I'm digging it.

I've been writing a fair bit more, lately. Just bits and pieces here and there. But it's nice to have that creative outlet working, again. Dance is coming along alright. I have a showcase on March 14th, and that will be fun. It always is. Homework is still being done, for the time being. My procrastinating ways will surely catch up with before the end of this month.

Valentine's Day is next week. I've never really been a huge fan of it. I'm still not. Something about all of the pink and flowers and hearts. It's off putting. And then Hallmark obviously has something invested in this 'holiday event', I suppose. I work in a chocolate shop. So I'm waiting to see how many people come in on Valentine's Day looking for a last minute gift. How sad...

I was talking with my best friend yesterday. As I always do. Our lockers are conveniently located right next to each. But I digress. Anyways, I asked her if her and her boyfriend of over 2 years (I know, 2 years seems like forever when you're in high school) were doing anything for Valentine's Day. And she just sort of shrugged and said not really. Both her and ZE (he looks like Zac Efron) are apparently not big fans of the day, so I was told, and her mom's anniversary is the 14th. ZE made her a ring, though, in his manufacturing shop, so she still has to get him something.

Her indifference, despite the fact that we have known each other for 11 years, still somewhat shocked me. I guess I just have hopeless romantic tendencies. I work 10-6 on Valentine's Day. And I told her that it would be really sweet if my gentlemen companion were to come in and bring me a bouquet of roses or something dramatic like that. She then laughed and assured me that it was not going to happen.

I don't believe that a relationship strives off of gift giving or of material things. That would be ridiculous. Dramatic expressions of 'love' or 'affection' are not needed for me. As long as I know how they feel, and they can openly show it in casual ways, then I have no need nor want for extravagence. But a girl can still think about those dramatic moments in chick flicks, right? Right...?

I'm going bowling later today with some co-workers. So that will be fun. It's always nice to go out and hang with different people. And I believe it's "Rock 'n Bowl", so that means music (most likely somewhat mediocre-good) and black lights and glowing things. I'm easily entertained, so it's good fun for me. :)

I published the Burnings of Dora and of My Little Pony on YouTube:

http://www.youtube.com/user/UniquelyLANA

So please feel free to check that out.

Until Next Time,

Lana.

I'm Lazy...

'ello.

If you are reading this, it is plausible that you know me in person. However, if that is not the case, an enthusiastic hello and spastic hand wave to you. :)

I am planning on starting a video blog aka vlogging, sometime today. Hopefully. But I am a procrastinator and I am somewhat lazy...

Concerning, I just imported video from my last Samhain Social (Hallowe'en Party) of my friends and I burning a My Little Pony pinata. The year before we burned Dora the Explorer. Good stuff.

But ya... vlogging is probably more beneficial for everyone because I talk with hand gestures and sound effects and facial expressions. Although, I suppose everyone talks with facial expressions. Unless they have something that stops that from happening. That would be weird...

I will post a link to my YouTube Channel when I have stuff uploaded.